Are there any good men left? Today’s society would have you to believe there are none; I beg to differ. Maybe you’re looking in all the wrong place’s. Some folks believe you have to attend church to find them. Some think you’ll find them in a sport’s bar or a night club, others try in a gym. All of these places are possible, but not very likely.
Let me first state that I am in no way an expert. I am only expressing what has worked for me. Almost every single woman would like to have a good man come into their life and stay. Unless you already have one, you may already think that they are all locked behind bars, married, have baby momma drama, that all men are dogs or creeps or things of that nature. I can assure you that though there are indeed "some men" like that out there, that it "DOES NOT" apply to all men. There are indeed still "GOOD MEN" to be had. Many of them are also looking for a compatible mate, just like you. Many of them want the same things you want in a mate. Many of them are tired of going home alone, cooking their own dinner, taking care of their own home, no one to share their dreams with. Just like you, they are looking for something and someone real.
What is it that makes him a man good? Could it be how good he looks? How pretty his teeth are? How tall he is? How much money he makes? If he has a career verse a job? Is it because he has his own apartement or home or the car that he drives? Is it because he pays for your dinner? Is it because he was thougthful enough to saves you that last piece of chicken? Is it because he is a gentleman; that he opens doors for you? Is it because he has good hair? Or that he doesn't cheat?
In honesty, none of these individual qualities alone makes him a good man. He either is or he isn’t. At the end of this blog, you tell me what qualities you believe makes a person a "GOOD MAN" to you. In the mean time, let me tell you a few qualities that I think are key and believe that you should look for in your potential mate:
A good man will see past any physical flaws and fall in love with your natural woman. Remember, if he chooses to be with you, he should be able to see you at your best as well as at your worst and still love you for who you are. If you have a man in your life now and he has been with you in these states and still sticks around, he’s a keeper. Oftentimes we want men to climb the stair way to heaven, and at the last step, instead of pearly gates, it’s the version of "YOU" that they were unaware even existed. And sometimes we can set such high standards, that by the time the man has done what we require of him to be with us, he becomes exhausted and burned out before the real fun can even begin.
Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying; There is nothing wrong with having standards nor setting them high, in fact to truly find a good man, it is a requirement. Just don’t set them so high that they are in fact unattainable in this life time or the next. And be sure that when you are assessing what this man has to bring to the table in reference to a possible relationship, his portion is in fact complimentary to your own. Meaning that together you would in fact become greater.
Understanding what a good man see's as valuable is important as well. It’s not enough to know how to do things like twerk, dress well, how to shop, how to talk on the phone to your girlfriend, party all night or sleep all day. A good man will want a woman that can show him respect, cook, keep a clean house, hold a conversation, listen, be affectionate, be considerate, laugh and enjoy life with him, be hygienic, bring him up when he’s down, be able to build or make a plan with him.
There has to be a balance where the two of you can meet on common ground or have a starting point where you can build on and have a future "together. When its real, you won’t have to force it. It will be the most natural thing in the world. You will find yourself laughing at the silliest things and hugging for no reason at all and catching each other smiling at one another. There is no greater feeling than being in love and being loved in return.
There are ways to tell if the man you are currently with is a good man or not, but first, you must determine if you are ready to open your mind and bare your soul to another person, letting go of old hurts and disappointments. Can you accept change? You may believe you are perfect the way you are and don’t need to change. If that is the case, where is your good man? You must be willing to accommodate another person’s way of thinking, in other words, see things from his point of view. That is not to say you have to agree with everything a man say’s, it simply means that you are willing to be open minded enough to try and see things from their perspective and if necessary, compromise. You can always agree to disagree. It will not happen overnight, but in time, you will find yourself seeing things from their perspective, and agreeing with them even after you’ve fought tooth and nail to have your own voice and shout to the world, “I will be heard!” or “I am independent!”
Also a key point to understand and exercise; You must let go of the past. Don’t try to make him pay for the sins or mistakes made by other men in your past. It will never work. Period. No man wants to hear what the last man did or did not do for you every time you get upset. Nothing is worse to a man than hearing his woman brag about what another man did for you or that he can’t do it like that other man did. Be sure to build him up, not tear him down.
Be his peace. Give him a real reason to want to come home to you at the end of each day. Be honest. The truth hurts, but it also heals. If you want something real, keep it real. Don’t put energy into dishonesty. Let it go. Be yourself. A good man will appreciate a woman that is comfortable in her own skin. And don’t be afraid to let him see you without enhancements. Allow him to know who YOU are. If he chooses not to stick around, then you’ll know, he’s not the one.
I am very interested to get some feed back on this post. If this post resonates with you on any level, please comment below and let me know your thoughts on the topic. There is always more to add or to learn. This short snipbit here,...is just my point of view. - Jennifer Cannon